


Leave

by natashalieromanov



Category: Original Work
Genre: F/F, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Moving On, Post-Divorce
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-11
Updated: 2017-08-11
Packaged: 2018-12-14 05:07:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11776131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/natashalieromanov/pseuds/natashalieromanov
Summary: Nyla and Josephine meet in a coffee shop after their divorce. Nyla wonders if she can let go.





	Leave

“Do you think it could have worked?” The words slip out before she can stop them. Nyla flushes in humiliation. _You just had to open your damn mouth, didn’t you?_

The woman across from her stares out the window. Nyla can’t help but notice the way a single red curl falls into her eye. Nyla’s hand twitches, aching with the urge to push it back. Like old times. Only this isn’t like the old times.

They used to come to this coffee shop and while away the hours holding hands and talking everything and nothing. A heaviness settles in Nyla’s heart. If someone had told her six years ago that her seemingly perfect relationship would end this way, she would have laughed. Now she just wonders what signs she had missed, what she had done to ruin a seemingly perfect marriage.

Why hadn’t she been enough?

The other woman turns away from the window, surprised. She leans forward and the words tumble out of her, as though she had been waiting for an excuse to say them. “Oh, Nyla, don’t think it was you. You _were_ enough; you must understand that. It wasn’t you, okay? It was me, all me. I ruined this. I let you slip away. It was a terrible mistake, and if I could take it all back, I would. But I can’t. I’m sorry.” She takes a breath and says, “But I don’t think it could have worked out. I’m sorry.”

Nyla looks at everything but Josie. Anger flares inside of her, hot and boiling in the pit of her belly. She hates herself for allowing Josephine to have this much power over her. She hates Josephine for leaving her, for not being enough, for agreeing to meet in their favorite coffee shop when she knows that this will only further destroy her.

_She left me. I shouldn’t owe her anything. I shouldn’t love her. But Lord help me, I do._

Josie had left her for Annie, a marketing manager with blue eyes and a devilish grin. Josie and Annie had hit it off immediately, bonding over their mutual love of adventure and thrill-seeking. Nyla knew that her rigidity annoyed Josie. It had spawned many arguments between the two, but they had tapered off once Josie found someone to share her spontaneity with.

Josephine had slowly distanced herself. It started with a lack of physical intimacy and affection, and somewhere in between had come the emotional distance. They had become strangers. Then Nyla had found her then-wife in bed with Annie.

And the most beautiful chapter of Nyla’s life had come to an abrupt, painful end.

Josephine rapidly taps her foot. Nyla wonders if she’s waiting for her to speak. She knows she should. She knows what she wants to say. But she knows that when she next speaks, it’ll all be over. She and Josephine will most likely never speak again after today. Oh God, it hurts. So instead of speaking, she stares at Josephine and drinks in her features, tries to memorize the color of her eyes, the shape of her nose, the color and feel of her ruby red lips on hers.

She stares at her the same way she had six years ago. Back then, she thought that she’d be staring at Josephine like this forever. A wave of hurt shudders through her as she realizes that today, she’ll drink in Josephine’s features for the final time.

_But she’s probably not doing the same with me. She probably can’t wait to go home to Annie._

With that thought in mind, Nyla speaks. “I hate you for what you did to me, you know.”

“Nyla –“

“You’ve had plenty of chances to speak over the last year, Josephine. It’s my turn.”

Josephine falls silent and Nyla continues. “I hate you for what you did. Not leaving. That broke my fucking heart, but that wasn’t it. No, I hate you for making me question my worth. I always wonder what I did wrong, what I could have done better, why I wasn’t enough. But you know what? You’re right. _I_ didn’t do anything to destroy the marriage. _You_ did. You made the choice to fuck Annie; you made the choice to leave me for her. You admitted it yourself: it wasn’t my fault. It was yours. I wasn’t sure why you invited me here today. Maybe you wanted to apologize. Maybe you just wanted to fuck with me. I don’t really care right now. I got what I needed. Maybe it’ll take me awhile to fully realize that it wasn’t my fault. But now I can let go. So thank you, Josephine. Good luck.”

She gets out of her seat, slams money on the counter, and walks out the door. She doesn’t look at Josephine on her way out, nor when she passes by the window. It is only when she gets to her car three blocks later that she allows her hands to tremble, for tears to spring to her eyes. It doesn’t matter anymore. What happened, happened. Josephine said it wasn’t her fault.

She can let go.

With that in mind, she wipes away her tears and starts her car. It roars to life and she drives away. Her heart is still broken, but she’s determined to heal it.

A year ago, she would have done anything for Josephine. Now she’s ready to do something for herself.


End file.
